NYSTATEOFMIND.

New York State of Mind.

When I try to explain life in Maine to people who live in New York, I often come up with a quick-but accurate sentence. "It's comfortable". I've quickly realized that is what Maine has become for so many people in my life. Including myself.

My co-workers and I were sitting in Bryant Park today enjoying some free Coke Zero and some "Crumbs" cupcakes...somehow we ventured into the topic of marriage. All of us quickly agreed that neither of us really want to get married. With that revelation I thought to myself-this might be the first time I have been in a group where everyone seemed to have the same views on marriage.

If I were to talk to a handful of people I know in Maine, 80% of them are either married already, or hoping for that day to get married. I was always puzzled why people my age, were so quick to get paired off. And to eventually get divorced. Then I put a lot of things together and came up with a solution:

Comfort.

The difference between most young people who live in NYC and young people who live in Maine-is the pace of life. Maine oozes comfort and a relaxed attitude, so most people nestle inside the comfort and accept simple ambitions in life. As society deems it, they do it. It makes me sad that some people either don't realize their full potential, or don't have the ambition to reach it. It's about the comfort of a place like Maine. The pace of life is so steady and slow, it's really easy to get lost in time.

In NYC, the energy is equally addictive. People are always racing. Chasing after their next appointment, their job, their home, or after their dreams. Being a part of that energy makes you want more for yourself. Time doesn't become something passive anymore. It becomes precious. Every second spent, could be spent doing something else, so you better be spending that five minutes the most productive way you see imaginable. Talking to people in NYC is all the aspiration you need. Most people are out their doing what they need to do to reach some kind of goal. There seems to be a greater feeling of purpose that people have for their lives in NYC.

So that's the difference. When you are in an environment that nurtures comfort and a slow paced life. You will become consumed in that and your life will quickly become a nice big fluffy pillow. It sounds fun. Great even. But most people seem to look back at their lives and have more regrets and thoughts of "what happened to the time" when they are in a constant state of comfort.

When you are in an atmosphere where you are made to believe that time is precious. You believe it. And you want to make the most of what you are doing. At the end of the day, you can usually list of the events that happened in the day and feel overwhelmed but satisfied with what your day was filled with. Not knowing what will happen next and always racing around, breeds a sense of discomfort. But that discomfort is a catapult to work for something.

I would rather not be in a sense of comfort everyday. Comfort entails a lot of the same thing over and over again. That's how things become comfortable. They have been done over and over-therefor they are easy and simple. But I would rather live everyday knowing that something great can happen if I work for it and if I am always going after it. And not knowing when it's coming is discomforting. But that is fine with me.

I wish a lot of people my age found their sense of purpose within. Not what society is telling them to do. Not what their peers are doing. But what genuinely makes them happy. What they would love to wake up everyday and love to do. Not feel comfortable with it, but have such a passion that a sense of the unexpected is welcomed in their lives.

We are young. We still have so many exciting years to live. So don't slow down now. Because time isn't slowing down for you. And if anything you are chasing after time, it certainly won't come looking for you.

SRYZ

Hello Hello Hello.
My apologies for the much belated entry. It's been a very busy and eventful week and it's been hard to kind of find the time/energy to sit down and write about it all.

So I started work this week:

- I work for the Human Rights Campaign and I canvass for their Manhattan office, which is the top office in the Nation. For all of you who don't know what canvassing is, it's those people you see in cities who are trying to get people signed up and donate money to certain causes. Different groups of people go all over Manhattan for the afternoon and try to get people to sign up. I've already been to the Upper East, Upper West, Chelsea, and the Financial District.
- I wasn't sure if I was going to like the job or not, even though I have had a lot of experience in social activism, but I actually like the job a lot. Standing on your feet all day can be tiring at times, and some people can be quite rude, but other than that, it's a pretty good job.
- As I said, we get some pretty rude people, but there are some people that just make you really feel like you are doing something great. I had this homeless lady on the street come over to me because she had heard me canvassing all afternoon. She had me go through the rap (the "story" we tell everyone to get them involved) and then she told me about how she would love to help out but she doesn't have a job and is homeless. She reached into her pocket and gave me $1.53, which she said was all she had. I insisted that she keep the money, but SHE insisted that I take it-and that it was going to a great cause. Like I said-it's those people who make the worst people worth it.
- So other than the job itself, I have been meeting some pretty awesome people. It's good to be in an environment where everyone is kind of on the same page and who are all passionate about the issues at hand. And it's great to have met some of the really awesome people I have gotten to know this week. ^____________^.



Let's see, so other than the whole extravaganza called work, everything else is going pretty smoothly. Like I said, I've been pretty beat after work most of the days this week. I think it's just my body adjusting to having long days again, being on my feet for long hours and all that jazz. I've been getting to see all different parts of Manhattan due to my job, so that is really awesome.

Friday and Saturday were pretty evil. I wanted to do a little window shopping so after work and my other activities, I decided to run to Topman for the first time. I was familiar to the company because I became kind of obsessed with it when I was going to go to London. Now the tailoring in that store, is amazing. The blazers were pretty much made for me. What sucks is that the currency is translated, so although it's cheap in the UK, it's a little less than double here in the US. So I mustered the strength to walk out and not purchase anything, but it was hard.

Saturday...So I made the dumb decision (not really) to go to Marc Jacobs to do a little window shopping. I saw the sign in the window that said shoe sale 70% off. I didn't believe it because none of the price tags were actually marked down. So I left, then I went back and asked if the sign was true...

It was.

Now I was looking on Ebay for a pair of used Marc Jacobs sneakers so I wouldn't feel so guilty about spending the dough on a nice pair of shoes. After I found out the sale was true, I was already sold. So I had been eying this pair on Zappos forever and they had them at the store but in a different color combination.





So mine are like this: Where there is black there is a light brown. Where there is white, there is a tan color. Where there is dark blue there is pink. And where there is light blue there is red. I'm too lazy to post pictures at the moment, but I'm sure they will be coming.

I also got a pair of black high tops that are pretty simple. Both shoes are so fucking comfortable. It's the only other reason (other than that they were on sale) that I bought both pairs. I need good comfortable shoes to canvass in, and both were perfect for my feet, haha.

I'll end this post with the fact that my love for Tasti D'Lite has turned into an obsession. I literally call the nearest centers everyday to listen to their flavors of the day and I think they all know me by voice now. So I was playing with the idea of "Obsessed" with Tasti D'Lite and I thought of the movie "Obsessed" starring Beyonce. There is a guy who meets a girl in his office, they have an affair and then the girl gets really psycho and his wife (Beyonce) gets involved, lalalalala. So Josh made me this.....



^________^

Hope everyone had a good week!!!

FRWRD.

Call it the energy of the city, call it my ambition and drive, but nothing can mistake this feeling I have inside. I'm ready.

It's quite a known fact that life brings ups and downs. It's an everlasting circle that never fails to repeat itself. But I am a firm believer that all bad is not all bad, and all good has some drawbacks as well. Either way, in the end of each era (good or bad), you will/should always be thankful for everything you have in the end of the day. Bad days are just days that we are being challenged, and good days are just days that we are being rewarded. So maybe the more bad days you seem to be having, just think of all of the good times that are coming your way ^_^.

It's been a rough year. But I don't think I have been this positive about my future in a long time, and it feels so good. And it's bringing me to that point where I feel like that past year has been worth every minute. It was such an emotional roller-coaster and so hard at times, so hard, but I'm making it through it. In the end, it's all that matters. No journeys worth being told were ever journeys of easiness or smooth sailing.

My Dad and I kind of made a pact with each other not too long before he passed away. I think that is a motivation each day. Not only is the thought of doing him proud (or more proud) keeps me motivated. If he was here, I know what he would be saying. Our relationship will never be able to be broken down in simple terms-but we drove each other. Brooke and I drove my dad to become a better father and a better all around person. And he drives me everyday, to not be an ounce less than my full potential. And then a little more on top of that.

As cliche as it is, as much as I have left behind, I have so much more to gain in my endeavors. I'm going to get stomped on, doors shut in my face, and some days I will probably want to be anywhere but where I am. But like I said, it's the good days that really matter, not the bad ones. We should all just keep inspiration around us. I do everyday, I have my pictures of my family, pictures of me and my sister, pictures of my father, and pictures of my goals-Ideas of the future and hopes for what I want to create for myself.

Point of the post? Not 100% sure, but I think I'm just starting to accept NYC as my muse. I am accepting the past, and trying to carve a future for myself.

Tip of the night: Try to remember a song that you once loved. Listen to it and really settle in why you loved it. You might find a side of yourself you have forgotten was there. :)

LBHANDS

Such a good album. Perfect NYC music. For me anyways. Listen&&Download. ^_^.

NYC4DUMMIES

Alrighty,
So I decided I would start blogging to keep everyone up to date on whatever my life gets consumed with. Let's hope the majority of these blogs are up-beat and filled with fun escapades in the crazzzyy city of New York. We'll see. hahahahah.

NYC has been pretty great so far *knocks on wood*. When I first got into the city, I was really underwhelmed and kind of just not impressed at all. It just felt like Boston, or even Portland on steroids. Well I was wrong. After we decided to take a cab into Brooklyn, I saw some of those classic NYC monuments, Brooklyn Bridge, Empire State building, yah kno'.

It's funny, because at that moment-I immediately felt like I should be right there. After kind of struggling with the whole "what am I doing here?" mind set in Maine, it was so nice to feel like I belonged somewhere. NYC is my home now, and I am so happy to be immersed in the city. With the whole feeling at home deal, I feel really inspired. If it wasn't for my cold, I would be already starting my vocal lessons and trying to take on as much as I can. I'm just so ready to be working towards my goal.

Most people kind of feel intimidated by the city, and that their voice will just blend in with the rest. Call me arrogant or whatever, but I just feel like I can be different *knocks on wood*. I don't know if it's because I know I want to get into music and I have been kind of planning this for such a long time, that I fee like I can do anything. Either way, I know I can. Essentially we can do anything, as long as we have a good work ethic, put in the work (loads of it), and persist. I'm a firm believer in this. In "Illusions" it says:

" You are never given a wish, without being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however"

&&&&

"The original sin is to limit the Is. Don't"

Why limit myself? Why say I can't do something. I can do it, it's just a matter if I want to deal with the consequences, or deal with the work. This is where I am so thankful to be a Virgo. Good work ethic.

So here are some fun little thoughs:
* There are probably about 5k Duane Read's in NYC. It should be named Duane Read city.
* Although I have been in fashion savvy places, I still haven't seen someone with an overwhelmingly incredible outfit. It makes me kind of sad.
* Even the biggest cities, have the smallest worlds. Josh and I ran into Josh's ex boyfriend today. It was really weird. Not because it was Josh's ex, but because it was seeing someone you know of, in such a big city. Like I said, even the biggest cities, hold the smallest worlds.
* Our apartment is really really nice. The rooftop is my favorite part, you can see all of Manhattan lit up at night. Ah, it gives me the goosebumps still.
* Even though we have a nice place, our neighborhood is kind of ghetto, for lack of better world. I am glad though, I like the culture of Myrtle Ave. I'm so used to seeing trucks and trailers in Maine...it's nice to see other cultures ^_^.
* I still see things everyday that I wish Niomi or Kristina were here for us to look at eachother and giggle. I miss you guys :).
* Anddddd Tasti D Light is pretty much a god send right now. Frozen whipped air or whatever, it's yummy and good for you!

Well I think I will tie up my blog here. Thanks for anyone who cares enough to read this ^_^.